How to Talk About Food Struggles with Someone You Love
Eating disorders in young adult women are more common than many people realize. While there are many contributing factors, one reason is stigma and a lack of productive and helpful conversations between those struggling with an eating disorder and their loved ones. Talking about the subject can feel uncomfortable and even scary if you don’t know how to begin, but today we hope to bring you a few suggestions that can help you begin the conversation with a loved one if you’re struggling with an eating disorder or a very difficult relationship with food.
Be Honest
Although the thought of opening up might make you feel uneasy, it’s important to realize that total healing doesn’t happen in isolation. Being open and honest with those that you love and trust gives them an opportunity to show you that they can support you, or at least that they want to. If they can’t, it will also give you insight on whether or not you may need to find support in other places. Connection thrives with authenticity and sharing where you’re at with the people who love you provides an opportunity to grow closer together as you navigate life’s challenges together.
Ask for What You Need
As with many different experiences, people often want to help even if they don’t know how to. In the case of an eating disorder, you’ll have a clearer understanding than they do about what type of support will be the most helpful. Don’t be afraid to speak up about it. If eating meals together is helpful, ask for company during mealtime. If going to dietitian appointments alone is difficult, ask if someone can ride along with you. When people who care have a good understanding of how they can help, you might be surprised to find how much help you’ll receive. For some more great tips on how and why it’s important to advocate for yourself and ask for help check out our recent blog post, The Importance of Mental Health: When to Ask For Help.
Keep the Lines of Communication Open
After you’ve shared what you’re experiencing with those you love, keep the lines of communication going. Let them know if you’re entering treatment and beginning recovery! Give them feedback about the way they interact with you or the conversations that they have with you about food and/or body image. If they’re saying or doing something that is harmful or not helpful, someone who cares about you will likely want you to let them know. Also, try not to go silent on the people who care. While it’s important to take alone time to reflect, and it’s common to feel overwhelmed during the process of confronting and treating an eating disorder, it’s important to check in with loved ones. Even if all you do is let them know you’re here and fighting, checking in keeps the lines of communication and support healthy and ready when needed.
Prepare Yourself for Questions
Although eating disorders in young adult women are common, there is still a huge lack of general knowledge and a great deal of misinformation. Many people don’t realize that eating disorders don’t have a specific “look” and even more folks don’t realize how normalized disordered eating behaviors are. You may receive a lot of well-meaning questions once you share your struggles with an eating disorder with friends and family. If you have the capacity to field those questions, great! If you need to take a break from them, that’s ok too. It’s fine to say, “I don’t have all the answers at the moment, but I will share what I learn if you’re open to it.” Additionally, you can suggest that they do some of their own reading. We suggest getting some sources from your therapist and/or dietitian to share with loved ones so that they have access to sound resources that will support your recovery and not cause more harm.
Set Boundaries if Needed
As your friends and family come onboard to your current experiences, you may find yourself bombarded with well-meaning suggestions, advice, and even their own emotional reactions as a result of the news. Please remember that it’s okay to set boundaries and step away if needed. If you’re working with a professional, feel free to let your loved ones know that you need love and support but aren’t taking suggestions or advice from anyone except for your professional team at the moment. In this case, the boundary would be to not engage in conversations that offer unsolicited advice from non-professionals as it relates to your eating disorder, eating habits, health, or recovery. It’s not selfish to advocate for your own needs. In fact, it’s vital to your recovery.
If you’re looking for more professional support for eating disorders, we’d love to offer that to you here at Blossom Into A Better You. Our counseling services specifically focus on young adult women and girls. For more information or to book a session, please contact us.
